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John H Howard
September 2010
TOASTER OVEN SCULPTURE REACHES RECORD HEIGHTS
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 I’ve been  a Student Sculpey junkie for quite some time now.  The only thing  between breakfast and teatime stopping me from going completely overboard has been the size of my toaster oven. It’s diminutive capacity and postage stamp footprint of my efforts, despite their intentions, leave everything borderline cute. Pushing the size to the limits has only produced flameouts and meltdowns, the last one having to be ripped from the wall socket and be thrown outside to smolder in the rain. Cleaned up and re-wired it was left with just two settings, off and nuke, but a moments inattention was all it took to incinerate my breakfast and scare my guest so badly she went straight out and bought me a new one. In a box as big as a mini-van I removed enough styrofoam to build Kon-Tiki and revealed nothing but a shiny replica of the one I’d just dispatched to the electronic graveyard. I re-packed it and trundelled of to Century 21 to see what else they had and couldn’t believe my eyes where for the same price on the close-out shelf I found the Giant Turbo Convector Rotisserie Oven of my dreams!
With the help of my neighbors I got it upstairs where after a few hours with the instruction manual I set about baking my first monster. Well despite being dangerously wobbly and weighing more than the truck it came in I’m already planning a bigger one limited only by my proximity to the JFK flight path – watch this space for breaking news.
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Howard is teaching at TutorMill, an online mentoring site for students of illustration!