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Top Stories of 2016

JANUARY 5, 2016
All predictions guaranteed and subject to categorical deniability! Thanks LA Times, Susan Brenneman, Wes Bausmith.
Happy New Year!
At GOP fundraiser, Mike Huckabee falls hard for Caitlyn Jenner. They buy a home in West Palm Beach.

The Iran nuclear deal, it turns out, includes a shipment of hoverboards.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel resigns, becomes new CEO of Volkswagen.

New Facebook Buttons include: "I just ate."

"I need a shower."

"I hate Facebook."

Pres. Obama discovers that nobody hears a word he says; decides to perform all remaining speeches in mime.

It turns out that Scalia is the quiet one and Clarence Thomas is a ventriloquist.

Harper Lee's third novel mysteriously appears. In "Go Set a Table", Atticus Finch ends up getting a cooking show on Fox.

At a deadlocked convention, the GOP decides to let the candidates wrestle for the nomination.