Anthony Weiner reached new heights of non-influence. And then, kinda tapered off. Like the cicadas.
Tim Tebow's ethereal connections got him just so far.
Miley Cyrus woke TV viewers up, if briefly.
Obama and Congress played a perfect two-act. He, after years of not calling out a body of deeply disturbed people, now finally doing it, and having that drive them even crazier!
Then there was the ever-inexplicable Justin Beiber.
Dennis Rodman became globe-trotting diplomat to a funny farm. Felt about right.
Lady Gaga appeared dressed in something like a toothpaste tube or a white condom. I was expecting something like this.
Patriot's tight end Aaron Hernandez went a little too far with a gangsta persona. You have to look out for that sort of thing.
Paula Deen cooked up some very smelly recipes. Using some old, nasty ingredients. You are what you eat.
Mike Jefferies said that he wanted only beautiful people in his Abercrombie shops, probably without thinking that he makes his millions off of fat slobs like himself.
Speaking of slobs, Ted Cruz drove his party, and almost the whole world, into a ditch because he can't read poll numbers. He is perhaps least influential of all in 2013, as the GOP will now do anything they can to the make sure that he is not the face of their future. Going down the route of heroes such as . . .
Reagan, the iconic tax and spend smiling hypocrite. Introduced the idea of the US as debtor nation.
Barry Goldwater, the unsmiling wild reactionary from Arizona. We can say he was uninfluential in 1964. Later on, very important. Certainly today, like Reagan, over as a GOP beacon.
Finally Joe McCarthy, clearly Ted's daddy. Flamed out while a sitting senator, on TV. Like Ted.
These two assignments for GQ, André Jointe, Fred Woodward, ADs and The Nation, Robert Best, AD. Great thanks to them and the publishers, editors and staffs of those great mags. Here's to a better 2014!