John S. Dykes
BUSINESSMAN GONE MISSING
OCTOBER 26, 2007
Law enforcement officials in the greater Wahlahbafa area ask your help in locating the unidentified businessman (pictured) last seen in the vicinity of The Great Hole. Hot Tips Line: For real Hot Tips, call 978.443.7772 We are pessimistic in our hopes of ever finding the guy, so The Wahlahbafa Chamber of Commerce will move smartly ahead and auction the businessman's fine automobile at or before NOON tomorrow. Henceforth. Proceeds will fund plenty of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms for the Annual Wahlahbafa-One-Helluva-Holy-Holiday-Hootenanny Extravaganza. Our sincere condolences go out to the businessman's family, but this really should be a blast!
The Businessman gone missing in Question: Tall and trim, not too much nose, dark eyes, dark shoes, stylish raincoat.
Search and rescue teams are working 24/7, yet there is no sign of the businessman gone missing.